160 Apple Puns and Jokes that are the core of humor!

Apples aren’t just a fruit; they’re the core of humor, wordplay, and endless puns! From crisp one-liners to juicy jokes, this collection of 160 apple puns and jokes will have you rolling like an apple down a hill. Whether you’re looking for funny apple puns for Instagram, cute apple jokes for kids, or even a few cheeky apple puns for adults, we’ve got you covered. Want to know what the first iPhone was really called? Or need a Big Apple joke that’s as bold as NYC itself? Dive in, because these puns are so fresh, they belong in an orchard! Let’s take a big bite out of the funniest apple humor out there!

Short One-Liner Apple Puns

1. An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough!
2. I find apples a-peel-ing!
3. You’re the apple of my pie!
4. Apple-lutely fantastic!
5. Life’s better with a little apple-tude!
6. Don’t be crabby, be Granny Smith-y!
7. Keep calm and apple on!
8. This is un-peel-ievable!
9. Core-blimey, that’s a great apple!
10. No bad apples here, only pun-believable ones!

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Apple Puns from Reddit

1. Why did the apple stop rolling? It ran out of juice!
2. Apple picking is just another way to grab life by the core!
3. I’m feeling orchard-nary today!
4. Don’t go Granny on me—stay fresh!
5. This apple joke is a bit seedy!
6. My job at the apple orchard is pretty fruitful!
7. Fuji or not Fuji, that is the question!
8. Apple puns make life ap-peel-ing!
9. These apple jokes are hard core!
10. You’ve got some serious apple-titude!

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Apple Puns for Instagram

1. “Apple-y ever after “
2. “You’re the core of my world “
3. “You make my heart Granny Smith “
4. “Feeling apple-tastic today! “
5. “You’re my main squeeze “
6. “Life’s better with an orchard view “
7. “This friendship is Fuji-ever! “
8. “Crisp mornings & crunchy apples “
9. “Tart but sweet, just like me! “
10. “Seize the apple-ment! “

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Apple Puns for Birthday

1. “Have an apple-icious birthday! “
2. “Hope your day is as sweet as apple pie! “
3. “You’re aging like a fine cider! “
4. “Another year, another core memory! “
5. “Hope your birthday is orchard-nary! “
6. “You’re the apple of everyone’s eye today! “
7. “An apple-solutely awesome birthday to you! “
8. “Wishing you a Fuji-tastic birthday! “
9. “Don’t let your age go to the core! “
10. “Birthday wishes as crisp as a fresh apple! “

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Apple Fruit Puns

1. “I apple-solutely love apples!”
2. “This fruit is the apple of my eye!”
3. “An apple a day makes puns come your way!”
4. “Apple-y ever after in the fruit world!”
5. “No need to cider with anyone else!”
6. “Let’s get to the core of the matter!”
7. “Stop being so Granny, Smith!”
8. “Stay crisp, my friends!”
9. “This is a pear-fect apple moment!”
10. “Cider rules everything around me!”

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Cute Apple Puns

1. “You’re my apple pie cutie!”
2. “You make my heart Fuji-fast! “
3. “You’re as sweet as caramel apples!”
4. “Cider-ly adore you! “
5. “You’re my jam… apple jam! “
6. “I’m falling for you like apples in autumn! “
7. “You make my heart core-mpletely full! “
8. “Apple-y ever after! “
9. “You’re the McIntosh to my cheese!”
10. “An apple a day keeps the sadness away!”

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Dirty Apple Puns

1. “Wanna take a bite of my forbidden fruit?”
2. “I like my apples like my jokes—juicy and dirty!”
3. “Careful, this apple’s got a lot of seeds to spread!”
4. “You’re one fine piece of Granny Smith!”
5. “Wanna take a trip to my orchard?”
6. “This apple’s packing some serious juice!”
7. “Is it just me, or is it getting cider in here?”
8. “I like ‘em big, round, and freshly picked!”
9. “Wanna taste my apple cider? It’s hard!”
10. “They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but I’m into something naughtier!”

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Love Apple Puns Captions

1. “You’re the apple of my eye! “
2. “We’re a pear-fect match, but I still love apples more! “
3. “I’d fall for you like an apple from a tree! “
4. “You are the caramel to my apple! “
5. “I only have pies for you! “
6. “I love you to the core! “
7. “No bad apples in this love story! “
8. “Our love is apple-solutely perfect! “
9. “You make my heart Fuji with excitement! “
10. “You had me at apple hello! “

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iPhone Apple Jokes

1. What was the first iPhone called? The iPone!
2. Why did the apple refuse to work? It didn’t want to be a Mac-slave!
3. Why was the iPhone blushing? Because it saw the Apple bottom!
4. How do apples text each other? With iMessages!
5. What do you call an iPhone on fire? HotSpot!
6. Why don’t apples ever get viruses? They’re always getting updates!
7. Why was the iPhone so good at sports? It had great apps!
8. Why did Siri get jealous? Because the apple had a crush!
9. Why did the Apple user break up? They needed space!
10. Why do iPhones never argue? Because they always sync!

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Funny Doctor Apple Jokes

1. Doctor: “An apple a day…”
   Patient: “But I only like cider!”
2. Why did the doctor marry an apple farmer? He had the juice!
3. Doctor: “You need more fruit.”
   Patient: “Does apple pie count?”
4. Doctor: “Eat apples for fiber.”
   Patient: “Can I have caramel with that?”
5. “Doctor, I ate an apple!”
   “Great! Now come back tomorrow and repeat!”
6. Why don’t doctors like bad apples? They spoil the bunch!
7. Doctor: “Apples keep me busy!”
   Patient: “Then I’ll have two!”
8. Doctor: “Your health is fine!”
   Patient: “So I can have my apple martini?”
9. Why do doctors love apples? They help keep patients away!
10. Doctor: “Apples are best raw.”
    Patient: “I prefer mine in a pie!”

Dirty Apple Jokes for Adults

1. Why do apples make terrible lovers? Because they always get cored too fast!
2. Why did the apple blush? Because it saw the banana peel!
3. What did the apple say to the peach? “You’re looking pretty juicy tonight!“
4. Why do apples make great partners? Because they know how to keep things fresh!
5. What happens when two apples get too close? They make a juicy mess!
6. Why was the apple so flirty? Because it had a sweet, irresistible nectar!
7. Why do apples love cuddling? They enjoy getting pressed together!
8. How did the apple impress its date? By showing off its firm and ripe exterior!
9. Why don’t apples argue? They just prefer to squeeze the tension out!
10. Why was the apple always excited? Because it had a hard cider problem!

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Cute Apple Jokes for Kids

1. Why did the apple go to school? Because it wanted to be a smartie-pie!
2. What kind of apple plays the trumpet? A Tootie Fruity!
3. Why did the apple sit alone? It couldn’t find its core group!
4. What did the apple say to the orange? “You’re a-peeling but I’m still the core favorite!”
5. What’s an apple’s favorite movie? The Core-cerer’s Stone!
6. Why did the apple turn red? Because it saw the juicy grapes!
7. Why was the apple a great friend? It was always sweet and crisp!
8. What kind of apple has the best stories? A Granny Smith because she’s full of wisdom!
9. What do apples say at Halloween? Boo-nana split!
10. Why did the apple visit the doctor? It wasn’t feeling peel good!

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Short Apple Jokes One-Liners

1. Why are apples so good at math? Because they know how to add a little crunch!
2. What do you call an apple that’s been to space? A cosmic crisp!
3. Why did the apple cross the road? To get to the other cider!
4. What did the apple say to the orange? “You’re getting on my last pulp!”
5. Why don’t apples get lonely? Because they always stick with their core group!
6. What do apples do in the gym? Core workouts!
7. Why did the apple get a job? Because it wanted to make some cider money!
8. What do you call an apple that’s a troublemaker? A bad seed!
9. Why do apples always win arguments? Because they come with solid core points!
10. What do apples do when they feel cold? They put on a warm cider jacket!

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Big Apple Jokes

1. Why did the apple move to New York? It wanted to make it in the Big Apple!
2. What do you call a fancy apple? A Manhattan McIntosh!
3. How do apples get around New York? They take the core subway line!
4. What’s an apple’s favorite Broadway show? “The Core of the Opera!”
5. Why are apples so successful in NYC? Because they always stay crisp under pressure!
6. How do you find the best apples in New York? Follow the Granny Smith Avenue!
7. Why don’t apples like Central Park? Too many bad seeds!
8. What’s an apple’s favorite tourist spot? Times Squeeze!
9. Why do apples love Wall Street? They like big investments in cider stocks!
10. What do apples say in Times Square? “This is core-some!”

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Apple Jokes and Puns

1. Why don’t apples ever get tired? They have tons of energy from the juice!
2. What do you call an apple who loves to gossip? A chat-ter-mel apple!
3. Why did the apple become a lawyer? It always got to the core of the issue!
4. What do apples and teachers have in common? They both help students stay sharp!
5. What do you call a romantic apple? A cider lover!
6. Why was the apple so humble? It knew it was just part of the orchard!
7. Why do apples never fail exams? They always bring their A-peel!
8. How do apples apologize? They say, “I didn’t mean to bruise your feelings!”
9. Why was the apple afraid of the blender? It didn’t want to get turned into mush!
10. What’s an apple’s life motto? “Stay fresh and crisp!”

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Apple and Banana Jokes

1. Why did the apple and banana break up? They couldn’t find a-peel!
2. What did the banana say to the apple? “You make me go bananas!”
3. Why do apples and bananas make good friends? They complement each other’s flavor!
4. What’s an apple’s least favorite type of banana? A mushy one!
5. How do apples and bananas stay in touch? They use FaceFruit!
6. Why did the apple date a banana? It wanted a little extra sweetness!
7. What do apples say when they meet bananas? “Let’s make a smoothie out of this!”
8. What do you call a funny apple and banana duo? The Fruit Loops!
9. Why did the banana refuse to share with the apple? It was too self-peel-ish!
10. What’s an apple and banana’s favorite dessert? Fruit crumble!